Which band should you choose to provide entertainment at a wedding in the 64?

You’re getting married in the Pyrénées-Atlantiques, you want live music, and you’re finding that there’s no easy way to compare options. The websites all look the same, prices are never shown, and nobody explains the difference between the various packages.

Here’s what we wish someone had told us – written by musicians who play at weddings, and who therefore have no reason to claim that live music is suitable for everyone.

Firstly: how many parts of the event need sound coverage?

That’s the question people tend to overlook, and it determines everything else.

A wedding isn’t a concert: it’s three or four very different parts of the same day.

• The ceremony – civil or religious. Two or three pieces, often emotionally charged, sometimes a song chosen by the bride and groom.
• The reception – background music, kept at a low volume, whilst people chat. The pitfall is to turn it into a proper concert: nobody will be listening, and the musicians will be tired for the rest of the day.
• The meal – between courses, or not at all. To be decided with the caterer, not with the musicians.
• The dance – the moment when the music needs to keep the party going until late.

It’s rare for a single band to do everything properly. Many successful weddings combine an acoustic duo for the day and a DJ for the evening. We’re happy to admit this, even if it means we lose out on part of the gig.

Duo or band?

A duo isn’t a budget version of a band. It’s a different format.

Two voices, a piano, a guitar: they can set up in twenty minutes, they fit in a living room just as easily as under a marquee, they can be set up without a sound engineer, and it allows them to chat to the guests. For a ceremony and a reception, it’s almost always the right choice.

A band really comes into its own when there’s a dance floor and a hundred and fifty people on it. It requires space, set-up time, electricity, and a venue that can cope with the volume. These three requirements must be confirmed before you sign the contract, not the day before.

Six questions to ask a band

In order of importance:

1. Have you ever played at this venue, or at a similar one? A Béarn barn, a château, a village hall: the requirements are not the same.
2. What’s included? Sound system, lighting, a microphone for speeches, transport. The microphone for speeches is forgotten nine times out of ten.
3. How long will set-up take, and at what time? A set-up at 5 pm in the hall where the caterers are laying out the tables requires careful planning.
4. Can we hear a live recording, not a studio one? An album proves you know how to record. A live concert recording proves you know how to play.
5. Can we request a particular song? And how much notice do we need – learning a track properly takes work, it’s not a favour.
6. What happens if it rains? In Béarn, that’s not a rhetorical question.

The set list: the real discussion

Most couples turn up with a list of songs. That’s all well and good, but it’s not the most helpful.

What really helps is knowing who’ll be in the room. Three generations? Mostly friends in their thirties? Grandparents who’ll be heading home by 10 pm? A band that knows the make-up of the audience puts together a proper evening’s entertainment; a band that’s just given a list plays a list.

And there’s one thing you have to accept: at a wedding, it’s the covers that do the trick. They’re what get people on their feet, because everyone knows them. A band that only wants to play its own songs isn’t the right choice for a dance party – though it might be for the ceremony.

When to book

Saturdays in June, July and September get booked up quickly – often a year in advance for popular local bands. Fridays, Sundays and the winter months are much more flexible, and often cheaper.

If your date is fixed, contact two or three bands straight away, even if you haven’t made up your mind yet. A polite refusal takes five minutes; securing a date saves you weeks.

And what about us?

TidyMess is a French chanson duo based near Pau, who have been playing in the department since 2016 – 145 gigs, venues, festivals, village fairs, weddings, and even a murder mystery party.

We perform as a duo or as a band depending on what the evening requires, with a set list that features mainly covers and, if you’d like, a few of our own songs.

The easiest way is to drop us a line with three details: the date, the venue, and the number of guests. We’ll get back to you very quickly to let you know if it’s possible and what we can offer – and if it’s not right for us, we’ll let you know that too.

Drop us a line, or get in touch via our business page if you’re an event organiser.

Nelly and Thomas